Can anyone actually define love? The reason why I ask this or merely just want to state my views on this is because I would love for someone to prove me wrong, oh and this is probably not something to read if you are depressed as I find my views on love are starting to get more and more pessimistic with the constant lack of proof of love.

So yes I may have just finished in a long term relationship, we broke up because I believe he is in love with someone else, I should not say "love" more infatuation, obsession, wanting of something he couldn't have etc. I didn't like being the third wheel in a twisted love triangle where the third person should never have had a part in it. Now that I have that of my chest here are my views:

I believe that love is more the need to not be alone, to try and find a connection with something, in fact anything at all. We love pets, friends, family and partners. So where does the connection turn into love and why?

We live in a world built on the idea of loss is loss, when a grand final in sport is lost many people have cried from grief, when there is a car accident and you find out that your car is no longer - you may cry, or if a relationship ends you may cry. All of them carry the same feeling, they all have the feeling of loss like there may have been something you could have done differently so that it would have worked in your favour. Does this mean it is love? is the feeling of loss what proves that love exists?

Many people say "I love them, I can't imagine living with out them" is this because they can't deal with loss or one less connection, one less link to the world around them?

Is it because they make you feel better about yourself? I asked a friend what is love, there response to me is "they complete me" when she explained a little further it all pointed to "I can't imagine living without them" "they comfort me" "it makes me feel better". There has been no proof to me that what people call love is not just another act of self preservation. People say that showing true love is a selfless act but none of this so far is a selfless act, so far it has all been about the person "in love" not the person they "love".

"I love there smile" or "They make me laugh" reinforces the link of self preservation or the self absorbed nature of humans in general as in the end it comes back to the way it makes you feel, once again it's not about the partner it's about you.

If your partner is in a car accident or some other horrific event that stops them from being able to walk what are the reasons for you staying. Is it the fact you will feel guilty if you leave? Is it because everyone will look at you and say wow they are so strong for staying with them after what has happened? Is it because they still make you laugh? or is it simply you can't lose another connection?

Is "love" a good thing? without love would we have murder? we would still have accidents but cold blooded murder? weather it be love of money or love of another person.... sorry to keep true to my views I should say the possible loss of money or the possible loss of the connection you thought you had with another human being would there still be murder?

I know my views are not normal on what love is, however I would like people to stop and think about what the word means to them. I have come to the conclusion for me today love means a connection to someone or something that will help you improve the quality of your life.



To anyone that would like to share there views with me I would be very interested to hear them... see if there is anyone out there that knows love and can put the feeling into words that can help me have hope that there is something other than selfish needs being fulfilled. I hope you find that you are "in love" and that people define in love and believe comes from love is being fulfilled in there life.