She’s just a friend. Yeah
right. If she’s attractive and single we see her as a threat. If she really is just a friend, let us know the reason why. Is it because she’s not your type, she has a
boyfriend, she has an annoying personality?
We like to be reassured that you’re not secretly into your “friend”.
I’ll call you tonight at 8pm. Do NOT give a specific
time or date of when you will be calling unless you intend to keep your
word. If you say you will call tonight,
we are expecting a call tonight. Not calling will set off all sorts of alarms
that will lead to us not trusting you. If you don’t know when you will call, you can
say something like, “I’ll talk to you later.”
She’s hot! We like to think
that, at least in your eyes, we are the hottest woman on the planet. Pointing out that someone else is attractive
will not earn you any brownie points. We don’t want to know if you think anyone
else is hot, so zip it!
I don’t use condoms. That’s
nice. We don’t want an STD. Condoms are a fact of life in today’s
society, so unless you’ve been tested and plan to be monogamous, get used to
them.
I love you – If you don’t mean it, you’ll be opening Pandora’s Box. Women do not take this statement
lightly. We are waiting for you to say
it and when you do, we assume the relationship is moving to the next
level. If you’re not ready for that,
then don’t utter these three little words until you are.
Did you gain weight? Does
this one really need an explanation? You
shouldn’t even say this jokingly, even if your girlfriend is stick thin. Just as you don’t want to hear anything about
your “size”, women don’t want to hear about their weight.
You remind me of my mother. Do
not compare your mother to your girlfriend unless you’ve made it clear that you
absolutely adore your mother and think the world of her.
Did we have plans? Oh no you
didn’t! If we’ve made plans to get
together, we’ve been looking forward to it all day. We’ve been thinking about how to dress and how
to do our hair. Don’t rain on our parade
by being dumb enough to forget or there will be hell to pay.
Keep in touch/Call me. What
the heck is that supposed to
mean? That you don’t plan on ever
calling us again? That you want us to call you next time? That you’re unsure how we feel about you and
you want to see if we’ll call? There’s
too much room for misinterpretation here, so just don’t use either of these
ambiguous expressions. Your job is to call, our job is to wear the high heels.
How old are you? – If the woman appears to be anywhere near 30, do not ask her age. If you really must know, you can make an
educated guess from other information she gives you, such as when she graduated
from college. If however, she appears to
be under 20, you absolutely must ask,
so as to make sure she is of legal age!
